Hidden In The Dark
by seeyouontheice
Summary: dun dun dun ... pahaha it's all you're getting.
1. Chapter 1

"Why have you brought me down here of all places?" she asked despite being told she wasn't allowed to speak. "Not exactly original is it? Holding someone hostage in the basement of a building."

"Shut up!" he waved the gun in her face. "I mean it! I _will_ use this!" considering the fact that he'd already shot two of her staff, she held her tongue not wanting to be the third. Jac had seen death countless times – been utterly powerless to prevent it too many times to recall … but witnessing someone _deliberately _take a life had shocked Jac to her very core. No sooner as the first shot been fired and the first victim fallen – crumpled – to the floor, the trigger had been pulled a second time without hesitation. The hesitation had come when the gun had been turned on _her …_ instead of killing her there and then like he had with the others; he'd dragged her down here; spared her life – for what reason Jac was dreading finding out. No one had heard the shots fired because of the silencer fitted over the muzzle of the weapon. No one knew what was going on and that two people were dead and that she was missing ... no one would know until it was too late.

He grabbed her shoulder and shoved her to the floor against the back wall of a lost room devoid of anything other than dust, an old trolley thing and a couple of dirty ragged blankets. Hitting the ground hard, she let out a small yelp of pain as her hand landed on a loose nail on the floor. Muttering a few choice death threats intending to scare her into silence – they worked – her captor left the room shutting the door with a defining thud like the door to a prison cell closing on her with a finality that said it wouldn't be opening again. A second later she heard the sound of something heavy being pushed in front of the door to prevent it from opening and thereby stopping Jac from escaping.

It was deathly quiet in the room; a perfectly proportioned square that had once been used as a storage space for the maintenance lot since now she looked closer there were a few lost nails, screws and the odd tool. As if this thought had reminded her of it, Jac lifted her hand to inspect the damage. The nail had punctured her skin and she had no idea how far it penetrated into the heel of her hand. At the moment it didn't seem to be bleeding all that much and she wasn't stupid enough to try pulling the nail out just yet – Jac would probably cause her hand more damage if she did try to remove it. Doing her best to ignore the throbbing from her hand, Jac hugged her knees to her chest glad that the small bump where hers and Jonny's baby was growing wasn't big enough to stop her from making herself as small as possible.

The room was cold – not refreshingly so in contrast to the tropical heats outside, but bitingly so … like the chill of midwinter's day had been trapped into that small part of the hospital. Jac shivered and wondered what time it was since there was no window to give her a hint at how blindingly sunny it was outside. A spider the size of a tennis ball scuttled across the floor by Jac's feet. She quickly withdrew them as much as she could to avoid the insect and watched it disappear under one of the sheets. She hated spiders. Despised them … but she'd learnt to hide it because ratty kids at the care home had discovered her fear and then proceeded to tease her about it. It was a very irrational fear, though – the fear of something smaller than her – but there wasn't much Jac could do about that.

Biting her lip to try and distract herself from the steadily increasing throb in her left hand Jac let her head fall back against the wall and heard a chocked sob escape her throat. How the hell had she ended up in this situation? Sitting in the staff room after that procedure … thinking that, actually, her two companions weren't that bad … then the door slamming open and then shut as the cousin of their patient stormed in with a gun. His disgust at the lack of any improvement and that they'd not been able to fix the damage to the spinal cord. And then the idiot registrar had asked for the gun to be put down … no one had heard the shot – but Jac imagined she had … she imagined she had heard the blast as the trigger had been pulled. Both she and the nurse had heard the thud as his body hit the floor … Jac had stood in shock while the nurse had started crying. Then within a moment the gun had been turned on her. That he'd felt the need to kill _her_ of all people … Jac had crumpled to the floor expecting the shot to have been intended for her only to find that wasn't the case.

Another choked sob escaped her lips followed by another and another and soon, Jac Naylor the woman who didn't feel, was crying steadily over the deaths of her two colleagues. The moment that the two … bodies – _bodies, not even people at that point. They were dead before they'd even hit the fucking floor!_ – had just … fallen to the ground; lifeless and not even cold yet. No matter how hard she tired Jac couldn't get those moments, over in less than a heartbeat, out of her mind … she couldn't stop remembering them.

She sobbed, struggling to remain silent … she was – she was scared. Utterly terrified … the thought of why she was still alive – what possible reasons he hadn't yet killed her too … it was a moment before she realised that she wasn't at all being quiet. After a moment Jac realised that something heavy was being moved outside the door and she hugged her knees to her chest, one hand – her injured hand – over her womb. This wasn't fair … her baby – hers and Jonny's – not even eighteen weeks in existence … the door creaked open and Jac tensed, utterly afriad of what came next.


	2. Chapter 2

"Awfully dark in here isn't it?" the voice said brightly over the echo of the door shutting. A moment later Jac thought she heard the flick of a switch – she must've done because a low hum started and a flicker of the harsh dim yellow lights of industrialism flickered on. Glancing up Jac saw that only a couple of the florescent light bulbs actually worked, and even then one of them was continually flickering on and off at a rate that could easily cause a headache. "Now … that's better isn't it … Jac? It _is_ Jac isn't it? Jacqueline Naylor …" she didn't respond.

The light gave Jac a chance to take in his appearance; fairly nondescript and the kind of guy Jac wouldn't look at twice. By the looks of his clothing and the fact that he was clean shaven led her to guess that he had a well-paid job and … probably … a family. She couldn't see the gun, but that didn't mean it wasn't concealed somewhere about him. Or he'd already disposed of it and was intending to kill her some other way. "I'm sorry; I didn't get your name," Jac said sarcastically watching him pace towards at his leisure.

"Marcus Terry," he bowed mockingly, "at your service." His over friendly manner threw Jac slightly and she sat wondering how such a man could act so after mercilessly killing two of her staff. He crouched beside her and then placed a hand almost lovingly round her throat … not blocking her airways – yet. Jac flinched, her fear making her body shake and tremble and betray her. She turned her face away from his and bit her lip harder than she'd been earlier as 'Marcus Terry' wiped the tears from her face and studied them as if he'd never seen such things before.

"What do you want with me?" Jac whispered her momentary strength as she demanded his name was gone, "Why me?"

He gave a huge sigh, "I don't know yet – I mean … killing you there and then just seemed like a waste. And also _someone_ needs to suffer like Lizzie is suffering."

"There was nothing we could do – and it's not even my area!" Jac cried out desperately before Marcus placed his finger over her lips and 'ssshh'ed her.

"Don't talk … don't make me use this!" suddenly the gun was pressed against the side of her head and Jac had no clue where he'd been hiding it. "Now then … Jac … that's what they call you isn't it? They call you Jac." Jac clenched her jaw, "Jac … I need you to stay silent – absolutely _fucking_ silent … if you don't – well it will be worse off for you."

"What … what?"

"Not a single word outta you!" he hissed dragging her to her feet. She winced as the movement jolted her injured hand drawing his attention to it. "Not a single word."

"Why? What are you going to do?" Jac dared.

He hit her. She fell awkwardly on the floor and cried out as the impact drove the nail deeper into her hand. Marcus didn't wait, within seconds he was forcing her onto her back and sitting on her hips, pinning her on the floor beneath him. It pained her to admit that she knew that look; that she'd seen it too many times to bear thinking about … she shook her head and opened her mouth too terrified to utter a sound and yet desperate to because if someone heard then someone might help her … someone might save her.

The deranged madman, for that's what he was, cast an eye over her and his gaze lingered over the fact that her scrub top was unusually large for her size. Marcus lifted it up over her stomach and grinned wickedly, "ah Jacqueline … pregnant." He clucked his tongue, "who is the unfortunate bastard to have fathered this poor thing? Speak!" his hand – upon which Jac spotted what looked suspiciously like a wedding ring – made contact with the side of her face once again.

"Please … don't …" she couldn't remember a time when she'd been so afraid – so scared – for someone besides herself. Who knew what he'd do once he learnt Jonny's identity? Jonny … had he noticed she was gone? Or had he assumed she'd left without telling him? Most likely the latter option even though she rarely did that now – rarely left without at least dropping him a text to say she was off. He hit her for a third time and demanded a name that she refused to give.

"Fine … I'll do it this way then," leaving the gun within his reach, but just out of hers, Marcus curled his fingers round the waistband of her trousers basking in the terrified look and the feeble attempts to push him off. Jac was saved by a phone ringing from somewhere in his jacket. Cursing, he clamped a firm hand over her mouth as he pulled out the device and answered it. "Ah … yes dear? What was that? Oh no, no I'll be home in time to read to the boys before bed … the doctors have ensured that she won't ever walk again. Dear I'm sorting it and yes. I'll be visiting Lizzie tomorrow … probably all day as I need to have a word with theses 'doctors' that infest this place."

Grabbing the gun Marcus got to his feet, kicking Jac in the ribs for good measure as he walked away from her. Gasping for breath and hating the pathetic yelp of pain that had slipped out, Jac rolled onto her side cradling her bump. When the expected thud of the door closing didn't come she started to wonder what now until she was forced into a sitting position with her back against the wall. Jac struggled weakly as Marcus bound her wrists together tightly with strips he'd torn off the old ratty sheets. Almost because he could, he pressed the rest of the nail deeper into her hand until there was only the top poking out. The consultant cried out unable not to keep the pain hidden and earning a further blow to her ribs.

He then promised he'd be back in the morning before using the gun to hit her round the side of the head. Stunned from the blow, Jac drifted in and out of consciousness dimly aware that she had tears streaming down her face. Only two things registered; she was scared … and she wanted Jonny.


	3. Chapter 3

"Digby – d'you know if Jac's out of theatre yet? Only I have a patient up on Darwin demanding to see her …"

"Erm … yes – yeah she is … she's in the staff room with Mr Malick and Chantelle. I've literally just left them – she was searching for Mr Spence's secret stash of custard creams." Jonny clapped the F2 on the shoulder as he headed over towards the Keller staff room. "Mr Hanssen … what can I do for you?"

Jonny glanced over his shoulder as the Swede loomed over Digby, "I was curious as to the outcome of theatre from Mr Malick and Ms Naylor … you say they're in the staff room?" the junior doctor nodded, trailing behind Hanssen and Jonny as they approached the room.

Jonny hesitated as he made to turn the handle – something didn't seem right. He glanced at Hanssen who also seemed to have caught the whiff of something not being right. Digby was oblivious as he ever was and so questioned Jonny's hesitance. The Scottish nurse suddenly didn't want to open the door – the silence on the other side was too … well it wasn't right. Hanssen too seemed reluctant for the door to be opened. Taking charge, Hanssen knocked Jonny's hand aside and opened the door to the staff room.

"Call the police. Now!" he snapped crouching down beside Chantelle and feeling for a pulse before shaking his head and searching – almost half-heartedly – for signs of life from Malick. Jonny stood stock still, not daring to believe what he was seeing … he could hear a tearful Digby on the phone at the nurses' station … he was standing in the doorway staring at the blood splattered scene but not seeing it. "Mr Maconie …?" Hanssen's voice was filled with uncharacteristic concern.

"Where's Jac?" he demanded as if the swede would know, "where the fuck is Jac?"

A crowd had gathered round the door, fearful and sobbing and panicking. Someone was speaking – calling for order while outside sirens – not the usual ones – were blearing out. She couldn't be … she wasn't … he'd never forgive her if she was – never forgive her for leaving him like this … it wasn't happening … no … no … no … no … no … not happening … not happening … not happening … not happening … not happening …

"Jonny Mac?" he blinked. He was sitting on the sofa in Henrik Hanssen's office with Mo … it was three in the afternoon ... and the unfamiliar sirens were still blaring outside the hospital. "Jonny … earth to Jonathan, come in Jonathan!"

"Jac?" he dared ask.

"I don't know mate … they haven't – erm … haven't found her – her …"

"Her body," he finished.

"No …"

Jonny balled his hands into fists and leapt to his feet only to begin pacing the room agitatedly. Something told him that he wouldn't be allowed to leave the office just yet. "What's been happening – why am I here?"

"You … you went into shock … Hanssen said you didn't move at all from the moment you went into the room. He's busy with the police … I don't know much but according to Sacha they think the patient – you know, the one they just operated on – they think her cousin was the one who killed them."

The door opened and Hanssen walked in followed by a police inspector. "Where's Jac?" was Jonny's immediate question.

The inspector paused watching Jonny while Hanssen sat in his seat behind his desk. "We've yet to recover a body; I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself, I'm Howard Kingsly."

"I don't care who you are."

Howard Kingsly ignored him and started going on about how they'd 'by process of elimination' figured who had killed them and why and how come no one had heard the shots. Jonny continued his pacing the entire time. Something didn't sit right with him; something didn't quite make sense … why leave the bodies of Chantelle and Malick in the room but remove Jac's? Howard Kingsly informed him that they had officers at all the entrances and exits and that they'd seen no sign of their suspect leaving on the CCTV. Which meant he was still in the building somewhere … now why would he remain in the same building where he'd killed? By all accounts he and his cousin weren't even that close so it wasn't her … unless …

"She's still alive."

"I'm sorry what?"

"Jac; she's still alive," he was aware of three sets of eyes fixed firmly upon him.

"Look, I understand you're upset; she was carrying your baby right? But … all the evidence suggests that –"

"That she's still alive. Look, why move her … body … if he left the other two? It doesn't make sense … also, why is he still in the building? Why hasn't he done a runner? Either he's here to remain at his cousin's bed side _or_ he's hiding something … or someone. There's got to be a reason he's not left and logic would suggest that he's got Jac – alive – somewhere in this hospital, and you'd better fucking find her!"

The inspector stared at him, stunned. After a few moments Hanssen cleared his throat, "What Mr Maconie says does seem … er … logical."

Howard Kingsly turned to Hanssen, "I have your permission to search the entire building?"

"You do … but please try to cause minimal upheaval to the patients."

"I'll receive full cooperation from your staff?"

"You shall."

"Mr Maconie will remain here out of the way?"

"I won't keep him here if he wishes to use the bathroom." The inspector nodded, turned on his heel and started issuing orders into his radio as he left the room and tasking an officer to remain outside the room. Hanssen got to his feet, "I must speak with the staff … Ms Effanga I'm sure Professor Hope will need you to help hold the fort on Darwin."

"What about Jonny?" she asked

"Mr Maconie is a grown man – I'm sure he can look after himself."

Opening the door for Mo, Hanssen turned his gaze on Jonny; so the swede knew then. He nodded once and watched the door shut. Jac was alive and he was not going to wait for the police to dally along half-heartedly looking for her. The police were useless in these situations; he'd have to find her himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Hanssen watched the faces of the staff, touched at the unanimous concern upon their faces as they learnt that Jac Naylor – the _pregnant_ Jac Naylor – was being held hostage by the man who'd ruthlessly killed Chantelle Lane and Antoine Malick. According to the police there had been no struggle; the suspect Marcus Terry, had literally walked in and shot them. Why he hadn't shot Jac … Hanssen shuddered to think. Ric offered to phone Malick's son – the porter Jake – and Chantelle's mother and Hanssen gratefully accepted his help; he had known them the best.

Hanssen left his staff and made his way back to his office, turning his thoughts to the man he knew was unlikely to be waiting in his office. He wasn't even sure if Jonny had told anyone about his past – about what had happened seven years ago. Despite how much he may wish otherwise, the reports of what had happened followed Jonny wherever he went in life. That the nurse had managed to, quite literally, shunt it all into the past and move on from it was … impressive.

Opening the door and not at all surprised at the emptiness of his office, Hanssen settled behind his desk and switched on his laptop. It wasn't until he was halfway through them that the swede realised that he'd been going through the records of Jonathan Maconie. He'd never really studied them all that closely before now; upon hiring the man he'd been told the basic facts and left it as that. It turned out that as well as being a 'front line field surgeon' Hanssen learnt that whilst he had been in 'area x' (even now the location was top secret) Jonny had been tasked with locating the missing persons …

Reports of his temperament – _suicidal_, _reckless_, _irrational_, and_ psychotic _– at the time he was pulled out and sent back home contrasted drastically with the more recent reports saying he was much sounder of mind. _Calm_, _controlled_, _decisive_, _impulsive_, and _boyish_ – Hanssen blinked and allowed a smile when he found that Jonny had been booked onto the very course he'd forced Jac to attend last year. Trailing further back in time Hanssen found the results of his nursing training – full marks and minimal effort – and then a list of the achievements he'd received … a medal or two for bravery and one that Hanssen translated to mean 'you're a suicidal maniac who just saved the lives of your comrades'.

Hanssen shut his laptop … he knew what had happened – why the young Scottish lieutenant had decided to risk his life more than was even necessary on a regular basis … he didn't want to read those reports. Not when one of his staff was … well he didn't know what was happening to her or if she was even still alive. Jonny's theory worked up to a point but there was a major problem that hadn't been figured out; why hadn't the suspect killed her? The police had a theory – in all honesty so did Hanssen – as to why but it didn't bear thinking about … did this Marcus Terry know Jac was pregnant? He probably didn't even care.

The silence of the hospital was shattered when a gunshot blasted out through the building. On every floor people froze … wondering what it meant … wondering … his mind whirring Hanssen raced through all the possibilities of what it could mean and who the shot had been meant for. A short while later, the door burst open making the swede jump, as the inspector – Howard Kingsly – marched Jonny into the room with a look of disapproval upon his face. "You will remain here, understood?"

Jonny yanked his arm out of the inspector's grasp but didn't say a word. Nodding towards Hanssen and evidently not about to stop and chat about what they'd just heard, the inspector left the office slamming the door shut behind him. "I hope you weren't doing anything to incriminate yourself!" Hanssen warned.

"They're doing it all wrong; Jac'll be dead by the time they find her."

"Let them do their jobs."

"They're policemen – they don't know the first thing about how to handle this situation!"

"And you do?"

"You know I do! You've read all the reports – all the crap the majors' wrote about how unhinged I was when they yanked me out," he started pacing the room, running his hands through his hair as he went. "I know what I'm doing; let _me_ handle it."

"The police would _never_ agree to that – and nor will I!"

"Why?" he demanded harshly.

"Because of your attachment – your relationship – with Jac Naylor." Hanssen watched the nurse, sympathy, "I can't risk another member of my staff."

"And I can't risk losing Jac!" the Scottish nurse – or lieutenant – banged his fist against the wall in frustration. "They need to drive him out … make him run – with her – away from wherever it is he been hiding her."

"Why don't you talk to Howard Kingsly then? Share with him your expertise on the matter," Hanssen suggested knowing full well that Jonny would never agree.

"Because he thinks it's me."

"I'm sorry?"

"They're using the board room as their control room thing – I'm listed as one of the suspects."

"But they know who took her and who shot them!"

"Never trust a policeman …" Jonny resumed his pacing, muttering to himself. "Is it me or do Howard Kingsly and Marcus Terry look alike?"

Hanssen paused, "I suggest you take great care with what you're about to say," he warned.

"Do you?" suddenly Hanssen saw why Jonny had been promoted to the rank he'd been given at such a young age … when he needed to be, he was calm, logical and direct.

"From what I can recall of Marcus Terry … yes; I think they do."

Jonny stood stock still, mulling it over in his mind – Hanssen expected it to take him several long minutes but within three heartbeats he was speaking. "Can I use your phone?" he pointed at the landline on Hanssen's desk and he nodded. The speed at which he'd thought it all over – whatever it was he was thinking about – astounded Hanssen until he realised that he probably had to make many such decisions in the past … probably under fire at times too.

"Davy?" he was saying on the phone? "Yeah it's Mac – look … I'm calling in that favour you owe me."


	5. Chapter 5

Jonny was pacing again – this time round the consultants' office on Darwin where he'd convinced Hanssen to relocate to. Davy and the lads had never been late … surely five years couldn't have changed them that much? Elliot, Hanssen, Mo and Sacha were sitting in silence watching him as he kept checking his watch and phone. Elliot was actually tidying his desk while Hanssen was seated behind Jac's. Mo and Sacha were occupying the sofa. Howard Kingsly had closed the hospital an hour ago; all patients transferred to different hospitals, ITU ones aside since Hanssen argued they wouldn't survive the journey. Intensive Care was the only part of the hospital still open and operational. Elsewhere the staff had been herded into the staff rooms out of the way; luckily they had access to the phones to other wards and so Hanssen was keeping them in the loop. Right now it was Jonny's word against the police – and naturally his colleagues were backing him (although the police didn't know that just yet).

A blaring in his pocket startled the silence. Jonny grabbed his phone and after a look from Sacha, reluctantly placed it on loudspeaker. "You're a lucky bugger Mac," Davy's voice told him, "because we can intervene and take over – you captor guy, the one that's got your girl, he's on the records and the Military Police have been looking for this tosser for a good few years."

"Where are ya?" Jonny asked him.

"About to tick this Inspector Kingsly you described me off." Jonny and the others heard some background noise and what sounded like an argument. "Look, Mac – this guy, Marcus Terry, he's a right nutter."

"Yeah well I kinda figured that one out by meself thankyou Captain."

There was a pause at the other end, "Sorry Lieutenant … we're inside – where are ya?"

"Up on the sixth floor – consultants' office … you'd better take the lift," Jonny hung up the phone and continued his anxious pacing round and round the room while he waited … but he was sick of waiting! There was a knock on the door dragging Jonny back into the real world, the door opened before he'd taken a step. "Davy, you're late."

"Had to do the intel first Mac; and persuade the Major to let me help ya … this is Thomas the IT wiz; we'll set him up here and he can monitor the CCTV while going through the records. I've got the lads on every floor and sent Jones to fetch this 'inspector' of yours."

Jonny nodded, "and you?"

"Awaiting your orders – well I'm assuming you're gonna want to do this the old way; flush him out?"

"Need to work out where he is first." All the while Mo, Sacha, Elliot and Hanssen watched in silence, Jonny cleared his throat and made the brief introductions. Leaving Davy in charge for now Jonny left the room – the atmosphere among the police was tense. Apparently they didn't get on with the army. Jonny needed time to think and time to work out what to do … this situation was made all the worse because it was Jac. _'Your girl'_ Davy had referred to her as; Jonny hadn't thought to correct him on that one.

He was outside the staffroom on Keller before he registered it; where could he have taken her? And how – _how_ – had he got her there without being spotted? He needed away to contact Marcus Terry – once he'd established contact he could find a way to flush him out and force him into the open. Then, well … then Jonny would get Jac back – if, if it wasn't too late. No … no he wouldn't … he wouldn't think like that … wouldn't let himself think of Jac like that … there had to be a reason she wasn't yet dead! His phone vibrated in his pocket, pulling it out he found it was Mo calling him – probably Davy wanting an update on his thoughts or whatever. "What?"

"Got a mobile number for you – I take it you don't want to use a public loudspeaker and alert everyone within a three mile radius what you're doing."

"Text me it, and keep an eye on the CCTV – you'll have to tell me which way he runs."

"You ought to come back with us Mac, come back out there and do what we do best."

"I'm a doc –" he cut himself off; "I'm a nurse, not a soldier." Thirty seconds after ending the call Jonny received the text message with the mobile number for Marcus Terry. Hoping it worked, Jonny called it and waited.

"Hello? This Marcus Terry speaking,"

Jonny chose the option based on white lies; "I know where you are Terry … and where you're hiding her."

There was a pause, "I … I don't know what you're talking about."

"Let's cut the crap eh? Because in about three minutes, you're gonna have a ton of army blocks on your doorstep – because you're hiding her in a room aren't ya Terry? A corridor isn't good enough is it? You want to make sure no one will accidently find you … well I have and my mates – well they're ready to shoot the hell outta ya."

"If one person steps through this door, I will shoot her."

"No you won't."

"You willing to risk that are you?"

"You're not going to kill her Terry – you're not ready to yet. I mean, yeah you killed Chantelle and Malick – those where their names by the way – but you weren't really thinking straight were ya? You were angry right? Because your cousin won't ever walk again … if you wanted to kill Jac, you would have shot her with the other two." Jonny could hear heavy breathing on the other end of the phone and hoped to high hell he hadn't judged this wrong. A second later the line went dead.

He instantly called up Sacha, already heading towards the stairs and hoping that his hunch was right when he started hurrying down them.


	6. Chapter 6

Shivering and scared, Jac struggled to remain alert … the cold seemed to be seeping into her very bones and her breath was catching in the back of her throat. Why was it so cold in this room? So unnaturally cold in the middle of the hottest summer for seven years … it didn't make sense. Her hand was throbbing worse than ever and now actually bleeding rather badly. The strips of the sheet that Marcus Terry had torn off to use as rope to bind her wrists was chaffing her skin and limiting the blood flow to her hands to the point where they'd both started to go numb.

Something told her she was also bleeding from a cut on the side of her head from where he'd hit her with the gun and judging by the pain whenever she moved Jac suspected he'd broken one, maybe two, of her ribs. Yet Marcus hadn't – as one might have expected him to – targeted her stomach, her womb, in his outbursts of violence against her. Shaking her head to try and stay awake, Jac cast her thoughts to Jonny and the rest of the hospital; did they know yet? Had the bodies of Malick and Chantelle been stumbled upon yet? And were they looking for her … or did they presume her to already be dead?

She felt tears slipping out from under her eyelids and bit her lip to stop herself from crying out and giving Marcus the satisfaction of showing how scared – how terrified – she was. He expected her to sit her all night … well she didn't have much choice in the matter did she? The past … her past – was coming back to haunt her. They always came back when she was in those situations where she could really do without those painful – one could argue that they were also traumatising memories – thoughts coming back to her. Jac fought them off, one by one, as she struggled to hold onto the knowledge that someone would find her.

She didn't know how long it was since he left; enough time for there to be a small puddle on the floor from where her hand had soaked into her scrubs and then dripped out of the clothing. At least the cut on the side of her head seemed to have stopped – for now – and it had gotten _slightly_ easier to breath. Jac didn't know if she was shaking from cold or from fear; it could be both or it could be something else. Her hands, bound as tightly as ever, were resting on her eighteen week sized bump and more tears started streaming down her face; she and Jonny should be waiting to feel the first signs of movement in the coming days – and then after a couple more weeks it was said you could detect a heartbeat with a normal stethoscope …

She shouldn't be here! Small choking sobs slipped out from her mouth as she started to realise that no one would come … that no one was looking for her … and Marcus Terry? Well he probably planned on letting her either starve or freeze to death, either way; he wasn't coming back. She wished he'd just shot her along with Malick and Chantelle, at least then it would've been quick … well, quicker. Once again she cast her mind over how unnaturally cold it was in her prison – as if the very essence of winter was stored here. What was the point in fighting the inevitable? No one was coming for her.

It took a good few moments for the sound to register in her mind; she'd dozed off into a semi conscience state, and even as she blinked and looked round Jac still wasn't fully aware of her surroundings. The door at the opposite end of the room opened and two people entered; one Marcus Terry, and the other a man in policeman's uniform who looked vaguely alike in appearance to the madman who'd trapped her in this room. The policeman crouched beside her and forced Jac to look at him, he then turned and said something to Marcus Terry only to find that Marcus Terry was holding the gun at point blank range.

Jac tensed and watched as he slowly and deliberately squeezed the trigger of the gun. The blast echoed round the small room, the silencer had been removed, and Jac had let out a small scream as the limp form of the policeman had flopped against her. "Shut up! _Shut up!_ Not a single fucking sound outta ya? Or I'll make sure you never talk again!" he hissed, waving the gun in her face. He pulled the body off her before shutting them both in the room and sitting with his back to the exit. Marcus Terry then crossed his legs and stared at Jac with a thoughtful expression upon his face and a look that terrified her.

When a phone started ringing, both Jac and her captor jumped. The call was quick – and judging by his short replies, not at all one he was enjoying. Marcus Terry hung up within about a minute before heaving himself to his feet and striding over to Jac; he grabbed her scrub top and hauled her unsteadily to her feet. The sudden and abrupt movement jarred her injuries and Jac couldn't help cry out in pain.

Half carrying and half dragging her, Marcus left the room and proceeded down one of the many corridors in the basement. Jac could tell he was rattled – that phone call no doubt – because he wasn't really paying her much attention other than to make sure she wasn't about to run off. "Now the fun part begins," he laughed as he dragged her up the backstairs with a hand over her mouth to muffle her yelps of pain and the mingled sobs. Jac's only bit of confidence was that the chance of being spotted had more than doubled … and so had the likelihood of a bullet being fired into her brain.


	7. Chapter 7

"He's trapped in the back stairwell; I had the lads lock all the doors to keep him contained and so we knew where he would be … near enough."

"And he's definitely in there then?"

"Yes sir, no sign of him on any of the CCTV and no one has reported seeing; time to go do your thing Mac. All we know is last we saw was he was going up; he emerged from the basement with her – we spotted them on the cameras and he disappeared upwards with her."

"Is she okay?"

There was a pause at the other end of the line, "we don't know sir she seemed alive … and Mac? Technically you're a civilian so keep this phone on will ya?" Jonny sighed, placed the phone on loudspeaker and then put it into his pocket before nodding to the blond corporal guarding the door. He swiftly unlocked it and allowed Jonny through before slamming the door shut again and barring it. "Mac … talk to us mate."

"I'm climbing the stairs," he said in a voice dripping with sarcasm and annoyance. "Look; if I talk then he'll know that I'm with ya … now the phone is on. You can hear most of what will be said now just _sit tight_ and wait."

There was a long pause, "you're the lieutenant."

Glad that they'd established that, Jonny set about his search for this nutter who'd got Jac … why he hadn't killed her yet was still a mystery to him. Why he'd shot Chantelle and Malick in the first place was still a mystery, although it was a fairly obvious reason even if – apparently – this Marcus Terry and his cousin Lizzie didn't get on all that well. Jonny had started at the bottom of the stairs, intending on working his way up to the top at a reasonable pace until he came across the psycho and the mother of his child.

The whole point of going slowly was so as not to alarm him with any loud and sudden sounds or movements. He needed Marcus Terry to know he was approaching and for the man to … well, trust him was the only way Jonny could explain it. Trust him enough to hand over the weapon and let Jac go unharmed. Jonny sighed – _yeah and pigs will sooner fly_ – as he came to the top of the second flight. He glanced up at the ceiling through the gap between the railings and suppressed his groan; how many floors did this hospital have?

It wasn't until he was on the floor below Darwin that Jonny spotted something. Crouching down he frowned and inched closer to what he suspected as a few drops of blood on the floor beside the doors to the ward. Frowning he knocked on the glass and spoke to the young lad – probably only just finished his training by the looks of him – if he'd seen anything. He shook his head apologetically and Jonny returned to the stairs. Treading carefully he started up the next flight keeping an eye out for more splatters as he went along. He wasn't stupid; he didn't expect Jac to be returned to him in the same state as she'd been taken … Jonny just hoped that a few cuts and bruises would be it and that Marcus Terry hadn't done anything else to her.

A gasp of pain echoed from above him, almost a scream but not quite … short and quickly stifled before anyone supposedly heard. Jonny froze, listening hard as he peered up through the gap trying to see something. After a moment a face glanced down through the gap, spotted Jonny looking up at him and panic flashed across the face. He then backed away and Jonny heard the sound of footsteps rushing up the stairs. Judging by the irregular footfalls and how some seemed heavier than others, Jonny guessed he was half dragging half carrying Jac along with him. Jonny hurried along three floors behind satisfied in knowing that there was nowhere for him to run to; that he couldn't run and hide from Jonny again.

He reached the top floor and looked round, confused. A few more splatters of blood by the locked door leading to the rest of the floor but no sign of Marcus Terry or Jac. "Davy, did you make sure that the door to the roof was locked?" Jonny asked tightly, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

"Um … no Mac … no we didn't sir."

The Scottish nurse resisted the urge to swear at him; his friend had already proved a big help today and not even Jonny would've thought about the roof until he had reached the door. Replacing his phone in his pocket, he took the five steps up to the thick heavy door leading onto the vast complex of the roof. Now this was exactly the place he wanted for such a confrontation … plenty of places for the nutter to 'accidently' throw Jac off the building. The sheer height would ensure death and no other solution.

No, he had to avoid that at all costs … making his way to the highest point on the roof, Jonny surveyed the area around him looking for any clue that would indicate where abouts Marcus Terry was. "Terry!" he called, his voice echoing loudly across the roof, "I just wanna talk to ya … okay? Look it's just me; on my own. I aint even armed. Why don't we chat a wee while, huh? And you can tell me why you're doing this, yeah?"

The reply wasn't instant – it never was. Jonny waited patiently surveying the roof until Marcus Terry stepped hesitantly into view near the edge of the roof that overlooked the main car park. He was alone and gave Jonny no clue as to whereabouts Jac was or what state she was in. "Alright then Terry – or can I call you Marcus?"

"Why should I talk to you? I don't like Scottish twats."

"Aw c'mon man, that was a wee bit harsh don't ya think?"

"What do you want? That woman – _Jac Naylor _– yeah you're not having her."

"I want to talk," Jonny said simply, "can we talk Terry?"


	8. Chapter 8

She winced as he shoved her on the ground with her back against the railings that kept people away from the edge of the roof. He then started pacing agitatedly, his finger never far from the trigger of his gun. Every so often he'd turn and point it at her and every time Jac was certain that would be it; that he was about to kill her too. But he didn't – _but he will_ – Jac realised with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. If he didn't shoot her then he'd probably throw her off the edge of the building … the height alone would ensure no survival.

One the up side she no longer had to worry about freezing to death … she just had to worry about the possibility of heat or the sun getting to her instead. Her head hurt, her hand hurt, her ribs hurt, her back hurt … in fact Jac couldn't think of a part of her that _didn't_ hurt. Like it had been in the basement room, every now and then her breath would catch in her throat and she'd get a briefly sharp stabbing sensation in her chest. The surgeon in her suspected one of her ribs might be on its way to piercing Jac's lung. If she had to die, Jac would prefer the quick option … the over-in-a-flash option. Not the option that involved you waiting and waiting and just lying there in pain while death crept through your body. No, she'd like it to be quick … but Jac seriously doubted she'd get a choice in the matter.

Marcus Terry spun on his heel, the gun levelled at her head and glared at her. "Who was that bloke?"

"What 'bloke'?" Jac questioned.

He narrowed his eyes, "the one on the stairs."

"I didn't see him." Jac told her captor softly; but she didn't need to see him – she knew who it was just from the sound of his voice.

Marcus snorted and continued his pacing, "how did he get my number?" he muttered and Jac frowned. Jonny had spoken to him on the phone? Wait – that would explain his agitation and his panic as he'd dragged her out of the room and then his flight up the stairs to find another place to hide … but, what had Jonny said? Jac wasn't aware that Marcus was muttering insanely to himself; she was aware of much at all really; the heat was getting to her while her hand was going numb and her bruises were all tender and the blood from her hand was drying on her top. She had no clue how much blood she'd lost but judging by the fact that she was suddenly feeling extremely lightheaded Jac guessed it was a fair amount … anymore and she'd need a transfusion.

She could've sworn she heard Jonny calling out … Jac knew she had to stay awake, she knew that it was highly unlikely she'd wake up if she let herself drift off further into the semi conscience state that had already claimed her. The chances of her actually making it out of this situation alive were shrinking moment by moment and Jac couldn't see a way out of it. But … but she didn't know if she was capable of just _giving up_. She'd come close – so very close – to giving up at several points in her life but something had not let her. Some small part of her was always determined to continue the fight; the fight that promised something good at the end.

But now … this was too much; just too much. Jac could feel her eyes drifting shut and her body slumping to the side, next thing she knew she was laying awkwardly on the gravely ground with her hands still tightly bound in front of her. The awkwardness and the movement jarred her ribs, her bruises, her cuts and they all began to hurt anew; her hand started bleeding as she somehow managed to loosen the fragments of cloth allowing more blood to flow to her fingertips. No doubt dirt and dust was now clinging to the cut on the side of her head … but Jac no longer cared. She'd … she'd given up the fight. The heat was almost smothering her …

Almost as if wanting to give her something to fight for, Jac felt an odd sensation in her bump. She froze her whole body tensing as she waited and tried to figure out what it was. Perhaps because her mind was being so slow it happened again. Tears slipped from beneath her closed eyelids as Jac realised what it was – her baby; hers and Jonny's baby … perhaps the growing unborn child in her womb had sensed her acceptance of defeat and decided that simply wouldn't do. The baby obviously was being very stubborn and _wanted_ to be born; the kick, the movement, had been – most likely – the only way of ensuring that Jac fought on, not for herself this time, but for her child; the child that deserved a life.

The fight for life rekindled inside her, Jac opened her eyes, temporarily blinded by the sun. There was no way she would be able to sit back upright without the use of her arms so Jac settled for rolling onto her back so she'd be slightly more comfortable. It took several efforts to shift and wriggle but eventually she managed it and lay panting, staring up at the brilliantly blue sky above her. Along with all her aches and pains, Jac suddenly realised just how thirsty she was and how dry her throat was.

It was only then that Jac realised Marcus Terry was nowhere in her line of sight; he would've said something if he'd been watching her. A small part of her wondered if perhaps, he had gone – left her and made a run for it. She didn't have the strength to call out for help – but she had the strength to wait … hope that someone would find her. Jac strained her ears trying to hear something and determine what was happening. "I wanna talk. Can we talk Terry?" Jac's heart leapt – _Jonny_ – as she heard his voice and Marcus's reply saying that Jonny had to join him and that if he pissed him off, Marcus would shoot him.


	9. Chapter 9

It was hot. So damn, fucking hot … and this was England; England where it was wet, windy or cold – miserable – the words sunny, dry and hot were _never_ used to describe more than three days running. Stepping down from his vantage point, Jonny checked his pocket to make sure the phone was still there and not likely to be found before walking calmly over to where Marcus Terry was standing with his gun. He felt Marcus press the muzzle into his back as he guided – well, steered – Jonny to wherever it was he'd left Jac. After a moment realised they were heading towards the railings …

Jonny resisted the urge to wrestle the gun from Marcus Terry – while he was confident he could over power the man, he wasn't confident enough to risk him using the weapon again. Jac was lying on her back beside the railings; she was conscience at least since her eyes had flickered over towards their approach and then quickly turned them away again. Marcus placed a hand on Jonny's shoulder so he could shove him to the floor beside Jac but Jonny was having none of it. "Would you like me to sit Terry?"

They exchanged a long glare and when Jonny did sit, he sat of his own free will and not because he'd been forced to do so. Settling down with his back against the railings, Jonny turned his gaze on his 'captor' and watched him intently as he crouched down beside Jac and forced her to look at him by grabbing her chin. It took all of Jonny's self-control not to launch himself at the man when he saw how Jac had flinched. "Looking a bit worse for wear, aren't we Jac?"

She didn't respond but Jonny saw her hands clench into fists; and also noticed at that point that they were bound together with what looked like strips ripped from a sheet. One of her hands was covered in blood; as was her scrub top – with alarm he realised that the blood patch was over her stomach. If this man had cause Jac to lose their baby … taking a deep breath that Marcus and Jac mistook as nerves Jonny quickly cast an eye over the rest of her. A rather splendid looking cut on the side of her head, just along her hairline, and a rather fetching bruise on her left cheek. But then again there could be more under her clothing.

"How did you get it?" Jonny asked brightly.

"What are you talking about?" Jac threw a fearful glance his way, telling him not to say anything stupid.

"That gun … where did ya get it from?"

"I … acquired it sometime ago."

"Oh … there was me thinking that you had one of them licences – y'know the ones right? That say you're allowed to have a gun?" Marcus nodded, "yeah me – um … me granddad had a gun; a shotgun that he used on them foxes if they went for his chickens."

Jonny knew that Jac was resisting the urge to tell him to shut up, that she was scared he'd say something that would get them both killed. In all fairness, at the moment, that likely hood was still a very big possibility. However there was a method behind Jonny's madness … the whole point was to get the captor to offer some snippet into his own life. Once he had that then all Jonny had to do was convince him to let them go … before they died from over exposure to the sun.

"I was in the army," Marcus told him stiffly.

"Army … wow. Betcha mum was proud of ya?" all that got was a shrug of the shoulders, "did you fight in any wars?" again silence. A rather strained breathing was coming from Jac and Jonny turned his attention to her for a moment, frowning. "You haven't given her anything to drink have you?"

Marcus Terry shook his head, "Why would I?" he demanded.

"She needs some water Terry … unless you want her to die from dehydration." Jonny saw that he'd hit a nerve in the man with the gun. Hydration and what happened if you didn't keep hydrated was drilled into every young army lad on his very first day. "There's a water machine two floors down; you must've seen it on your way up?"

"If you move …" he began to threaten, "then I'll kill you both."

"Fine," Jonny watched as he disappeared from view before turning to Jac; the first thing he did was rid her of the raggedy bits of cloth that had been used in place of rope. "C'mon," he murmured gently, "c'mon you need to sit up a wee bit, okay?" Jonny helped her into a more upright position and crouched in front of her.

"What … what are – you … what are you doing?"

"Don't talk Jac; you need your strength."

"So you don't have to answer my questions?"

"Where are you hurt?"

Jac closed her eyes, "where don't I hurt … be an easier question." She muttered softly, her breathing still sounding rather ragged to Jonny. Jac took his hand in her less bloodied one – that one she seemed to be hiding from him – and placed it over her bump … over their child. "I … I – you missed it."

"Missed what?"

"First …" she whimpered slightly in pain, but from where Jonny didn't know, "the first kick," she breathed finally.

"The baby kicked?" Jonny repeated in a hoarse whisper. Jac smiled slightly despite the situation and nodded. Impulse drove him to do it; he kissed her – ever so briefly – on the lips. Thankfully he had pulled away before Marcus Terry rounded the corner. "Just … let me deal with this yeah?" he whispered. She nodded as he settled down beside her and Jonny suspected that she was probably too weak and too scared to do otherwise. "It's gonna be okay; I promise."

Marcus stopped in front of them; he made no comment about the sudden freedom of Jac's hands and thrust the first cup of water at her. But her hand trembled too much and she spilt it over his shoes. The retribution was quick and sudden and so unexpected Jonny had no time to react; all he knew was that Jac cried out in agony and then fell against him shaking. Instinctively he wrapped an arm round her shoulders as he took the second cup from the abuser Jonny helped her drink the cool liquid.


	10. Chapter 10

With Jonny's encouragement, Jac managed to finish the cup of water. The second kick in her ribs had well and truly ensured that at least one of her ribs was damaging her lung. She didn't move from Jonny's arms though she knew that wouldn't stop Marcus from hurting her if he wanted to. Setting the empty plastic cup on the floor beside him Jonny turned his attention back to their captor although he didn't remove his arm from around her shoulders. While his presence beside her gave her strength to hang on, it also worried her – it was only a matter of time before he said something idiotic and got them both killed.

Yet he seemed … relaxed. Jac knew that her whole body was tense and that her nerves were tightly strung, she knew that Jonny could feel that in the way she was huddled up to him and yet … he seemed perfectly at ease. As if he wasn't shit scared by the situation … but she'd agreed to let him 'deal with this' so Jac put her faith into him and hoped that he knew what he was doing and that he'd somehow find a way out of this situation. The heat was becoming unbearable and she had almost forgotten what it was like _not _to feel pain.

Marcus Terry was pacing again, the gun held firmly in his right hand and his finger never far from the trigger. "Why the fuck is the army here?" he shot at Jonny and Jac blinked – _the army_ – as this information digested.

Jonny shrugged but Jac got the impression he knew perfectly well why the army was suddenly involved. "Who knows mate … but didn't ya say you was in the army?" Marcus Terry levelled his gun at Jonny's head. Jac tensed, breathing in sharply and then having to bite her lip as her chest exploded with pain while Jonny just sat there calmly. "Mate, if you wanted to kill me ya would've done it earlier."

The gun was lowered. "You said you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah … I did, didn't I?"

"Well then talk." Jonny watched the man calmly for a while, his eyes never leaving Marcus as he waited for who-knows-what. "I said talk!" he yelled angrily brandishing his gun around, "c'mon … talk!" he grabbed Jac's upper arm and dragged her roughly to her feet and out of the safety of Jonny's arms. As she'd expected, Marcus held the gun against her head and threatened to shoot her if Jonny didn't start talking.

Marcus Terry couldn't possibly know that he had the perfect leverage over Jonny, what with the baby being his and all that. "Why are you doing this Terry?" Jonny asked eventually, "why? It's not gonna make your cousin walk now, is it?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you!"

Jonny sighed, "I'm trying to help you, and can't ya see that? What do you want, huh? If ya tell me what you want then we can stop all this nonsense!"

"I want … I want – I …" he dragged Jac towards the railings; circling Jonny who'd gotten to his feet the moment Marcus had grabbed her. "I … I – want …" Now Jac was scared; there was no motive … no – no real reason _why_ he was doing this … the outcome of theatre probably had very little to do with why he'd killed Malick and Chantelle … it probably had just tipped him over the edge into this insane pit he was rapidly descending into. Jac met Jonny's gaze and she knew that he was thinking hard – that he too was now worried because there was no reason to Marcus Terry's actions. "I want … I want justice!"

"Justice …" Jonny repeated slowly, his gaze flickering to Jac's bloodied hand and back to Terry, "okay, justice for what?"

"For what you did to my cousin; you – _she_ – made her a cripple!"

"Jac did nothing of the sort!" Jonny snapped at the madman, "if she hadn't of been in theatre your cousin would've died from acute heart failure."

"Bullshit! It was her … it was _you_." He hissed in Jac's ear before forcing her through the gap in the railings and swiftly following. "Stay there!" he yelled at Jonny, keeping the nurse at bay with the gun while he once again grabbed a hold of Jac, who had a firm grasp of the railings with her uninjured hand.

"Look, Marcus … mate, what good is this gonna do, huh?" Jonny was sweating slightly, whether from the heat or from the situation Jac couldn't tell. "No, no – no!" he added quickly when the gun was turned on Jac once again. "You don't have it in ya!" Jac blinked as did Marcus and they both looked at Jonny. "To shoot Jac; you don't have it in ya."

"I've killed countless people – women included – you twat!"

"But never a pregnant one," Jonny fixed his gaze on Marcus while Jac noticed the hand holding the gun twitch.

"I don't have to shoot the bitch though, do I?" he grabbed Jac, throwing her off balance and causing her to let go of the railing she'd been clinging onto. With one arm round her waist and the other hand taking hold of her upper arm, Marcus shuffled right up to the edge of the building and stopped with a nasty little grin on his face while Jac struggled to maintain her footing.

"Jonny …" she whimpered, now utterly terrified and no longer caring if she sounded weak and pitiful or not.

"You don't wanna do that," Jonny warned, still on the other side of the railings; they all knew that if he moved then Marcus would let Jac fall.

"Oh … don't I? I suppose because she's _pregnant_ I won't be able to do it will I?" he sneered, before turning to Jac, "You never did tell me who the unfortunate bugger is that fathered your unborn little shit … oh wait – no, no … oh god. Oh my fucking god …" Marcus started laughing hysterically and at one point Jac felt herself slip. She struggled to keep her footing but knew it was only a matter of minutes. "It's him isn't it? This Scottish twat …"

"You don't wanna do this Marcus; what about your family, huh?"

"Say goodbye to them, _mate_," Marcus giggled as he shuffled forwards some more; Jac seized hold of the man's arms despite her hand as she lost her footing.


	11. Chapter 11

"_Jonny_!" she yelled as she came to a sudden halt after having only slipped rather than fallen; evidently Marcus wasn't quite ready to commit his third murder just yet.

"Aw how sweet, calling out his name – I take it that's your name; _Jonny._" Jonny clenched his fists and struggled to keep calm; the problem was he was too … _emotionally involved_ in this … case? Before, when he'd been out there in the hot deserts, he hadn't known the people involved and so had been able to keep his head and act logically. But this was Jac; Jac and his baby … he couldn't afford to make a mistake or he'd lose them both.

He had to get them away from the edge and back on his side of the railings. Jonny had never seen her so afraid before – never seen her so scared and so … weak. She gasped and yelped in pain and then started coughing. Ran his hands through his sweaty hair and let out a long breath as he re-evaluated the situation and how he was going to deal with it. He needed an angle, a way to hit at the nerves of this nutter and to make him see sense. "What if it was your wife?" he asked desperately, hoping this would work.

Marcus turned slightly, thrown at the mention of his wife.

"What if, some bastard was threatening to push _your_ wife over the edge of a building? What would you think?"

"I wouldn't let the fucker near her to start with."

Jonny let that one pass, "okay, but say he found a way? What would you do? Oh c'mon Terry, you wouldn't just stand there and feel nothin' would ya? Or your children … you've got kids right? And I'm sure you'd do anything to protect them, right?"

Jonny was desperate now; he was saying anything in the hopes it would make Marcus Terry see sense and give Jac back to him. All his training and all his experience … Jonny was stumped, unsure what to do and what to say. Normally at this point he'd be standing beside Marcus and removing the man of Jac and his gun … but not this time. Jac started coughing again, great rasping coughs that Jonny knew was related to some kind of problem in the lungs. With a jolt he wondered – or suspected – that somehow she'd broken a rib or two; it would explain why she'd been having difficulty breathing.

"Why are the Military Police after ya Marcus?"

He froze, "how'd you know that?"

Jonny closed his eyes and tried to block out Jac's cries of pain and the occasional sob; "why else would the army turn up?"

"How'd you get my number?"

"I was given it."

"By whom …" when Jonny didn't respond Marcus shifted and relaxed his hold on Jac slightly; once again she slipped a few inches and Jonny thought she was going to fall. "Who told you it?"

"A mate of mine, listen … you aint getting away from here, y'know that right? There aint no way in hell you will walk outta here scot free, you realise that? Why get banged up for three murders when you can get banged up for only two?"

"I aint getting locked up," Marcus informed Jonny.

"Oh? And may I ask how you'll ensure that?"

"Because I'll do you a deal; I'll let this bitch go _if_ you tell them army lot to leave me alone."

His mind racing, Jonny knew that back in the consultants' office on Darwin that a discussion was likely taking place. "Can I talk to them? See what they say? I mean; I'm just a wee nurse … they're the ones who actually know what they're doing."

"You've got five minutes or I'll drop her off this roof."

Jonny backed away from the railings, his hand in his pocket on his phone. The second he was out of Marcus' sight he pulled the device out and placed it to his ear. "How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it sir," Davy responded at once, "tell me you aint gonna agree with him?"

"I'm not risking Jac."

"Mac … mate – jeeze, I know she's your girl and all that, but –"

"But nothing; I'm the ranking officer … listen get the lads on stand by and wait for my instructions, okay?"

"Mac – sir – but …"

"That's an order," Jonny rarely had to pull rank, and thankfully Davy knew when to stop arguing with him. The phone went silent and Jonny replaced it in his pocket before heading back to the spot where Marcus was planning to push Jac off the roof. "They say if you leave your gun here, then they leave ya be, okay? C'mon Terry – you lose the gun and they lose you."

Marcus thought about it, and for a one wild moment Jonny thought that he'd let Jac go but he was only readjusting his grip on her so that he could drag her back away from the edge. Dropping her in a heap against the rail and then dropping the gun beside her, Marcus climbed through the gap and walked towards the door without a word.

"Davy? Tell the lads to keep the hospital intact will ya? He's unarmed and heading down the stairs."

"Gotcha Mac – don't worry mate; we'll get him."

Jonny hung up and turned back to Jac, with difficulty he guided her through the gap between the railings and then let her sink to the floor in a heap of exhaustion. "Can you walk?" he asked softly, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I'll try," she breathed, "can … can you – can you help me?"

Jonny snaked an arm round her expanding waistline and took most of her weight as he helped her to her feet. She gasped and slumped into him, struggling to breath. "Jac … no – c'mon, don't do this now!" He sank to the floor with her in his arms.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"No … I'm not having it – okay? Don't do this to me you wee bitch!" but Jac smiled weakly up at him as her eyes drifted shut and her breathing got worse, "Jac!"


	12. Chapter 12

"We got him Mac … gave us a rather splendid little chase, but we got him." Davy glanced at his old friend and then patted him on the shoulder; he'd been sitting on the uncomfortable plastic chairs outside theatre for the past hour and a bit waiting for news on Jac. "You wanna see him?"

"I'll only deck him one."

"I can arrange that if you want."

"Tempting, but …"

"You wanna be here in case of any news … well he's in the tall bloke's office – what's his name … the Swedish guy?"

"Hanssen," Jonny supplied.

"Yeah – oh and that gunshot you heard … he killed that inspector guy you told me about. We found this old room in the basement where he was obviously hiding her in and the body was there too." Davy sat down beside Jonny. "So what did he do to her then?"

"She's covered in cuts and bruises … got a nail embedded into the heel of her left hand and at least two broken ribs, one of which has punctured a lung. There's no way of telling if he …" Jonny faltered and took a deep breath, "if he …" Jonny couldn't say it but Davy didn't need him to.

"And your baby?" the soldier asked.

"I don't know," Jonny closed his eyes and shook his head, "I don't know … Elliot and Hanssen are in there with Mo and Sacha assisting – I … they wouldn't let me in."

"Probably for the best – you remember what happened to that Hemmingway bloke right?" Jonny nodded absently not in the mood to discuss it. "I've gotta go meet the major – I'll come and find ya before I leave okay?"

"Yeah whatever," Jonny wasn't really listening, but Davy wasn't the type to take offense easily; he knew that when he was no longer worried about Jac, Jonny would get round to thanking him for his help.

He'd never really appreciated how uncomfortable plastic chairs were; yet when you were waiting with bated breath for news, knowing that the likelihood of it being bad far outweighed the chances of it being good, you didn't care how uncomfortable the chair was because there were more important things to focus on. He still didn't know why Jac – still didn't understand why Marcus hadn't killed her in the same instant he'd killed Chantelle and Malick. If she didn't make it through this then … Jonny shook himself violently. He wasn't going to think like that; she was going to make it.

Sometime later the doors to the theatres opened. Jonny's head snapped up, followed swiftly by the rest of his body as he stood stock still, staring at Elliot and Hanssen waiting for them to speak, to tell him if he'd lost her or not. "Well?" Jonny demanded, almost harshly, "don't just stand there!" the anger was irrational, he knew that, but he had to know.

"She's on the ventilation machine – to give her lung a chance to heal slightly – and hopefully there won't be too much nerve damage to her hand." Elliot told him, "We've fixed the broken ribs, and I've stitched the cut on her head while Mr Hanssen removed the nail from her hand," he trailed off and glanced at the swede.

Jonny sensed there was a 'but' somewhere in all this good news, there always was. "But?" he prompted when neither Elliot nor Hanssen spoke.

Hanssen cleared his throat, "we'll have to get someone from obs and gynie to confirm it, but we think that she's going to miscarry," Jonny's eyes closed, shielding him from the pitiful gazes of his colleagues, "I'm sorry for your loss."

Opening his eyes Jonny found Mo and Sacha watching him as they held open the doors to allow the nurses' to wheel the unconscious Jac to HDU –_ she's going to miscarry. That means it hasn't happened yet_ – Jonny slumped on the plastic chair once again at a loss of what to do. Then he sprung to his feet and marched off down the corridor leaving Mo and Sacha to trail along behind him with no real hope of catching him.

He arrived outside Hanssen's office where four of Davy's lads stood guard and no doubt another two were inside the room. They wordlessly let Jonny into the room and shut the door behind him. The IT wiz Thomas and the blond solider Jonny spoke to on the stairs stood watching a now handcuffed Marcus Terry without speaking. "Lieutenant Maconie," Thomas acknowledged before nodding to his comrade and leaving the room. It occurred to Jonny that Davy had probably said that if he turned up, they should let him get on with whatever he was going to do.

"Well _lieutenant_, we meet again." What struck Jonny the most was the lack of remorse in his voice and his bearing. About the only thing that seemed to bother Marcus was that he'd gotten caught – that Jonny had broken the promise. "I should've chucked her off the roof when I had the chance," he spat.

"You should've shot her when you killed Chantelle and Malick," Jonny informed him. "That was your mistake; taking Jac when you had murdered the other two. There was no logic to it – no reasoning; like you were making it all up as you went along."

"Yeah well … she was a good sport – if you know what I mean," he winked at Jonny with a satisfied smirk on his face. Jonny's blood ran cold; before he realised it his fist had collided with Marcus's face rather solidly. "Touched a nerve I see … but it's really very selfish of you – keeping her all to yourself like you do; share her around." In hindsight Jonny should've realised that Marcus Terry was only trying to – and succeeding – provoke a reaction from him. Although it was rather satisfying to see that the nutter's nose was bleeding rather heavily.

"You've killed four people today Terry – and very nearly killed five."

"Four? I thought it was only three," he replied mildly.

Through clenched teeth Jonny said, "You made her lose the baby."

Marcus laughed, "Good," and Jonny broke his nose.


	13. Chapter 13

She was aware of the low and rather annoying hum of machines around her complete with the steady beep that came from the one that was monitoring her heart rate. She was aware that her entire body was filled with a dull aching pain and that there were several drips attached to her, pumping … _stuff_ … into her. She was aware of the steady rising and falling of her chest and was conscience of the fact that it wasn't _her_ doing it.

She was aware of people moving around her and that voices were murmuring above her. Jac was aware of how the door sounded as it constantly opened and closed and of the sound that the rubber soled shoes made on the floor. She was aware of someone prodding and poking her – or maybe that bit was her imagination … but someone _was_ faffing around with her hand and then once they'd finished Jac was aware of them faffing about with her ribs.

It wasn't until a door slammed somewhere, causing Jac to wake in alarm because it had sounded like a gunshot, that she realised she'd drifted off to sleep after her 'being aware' phase. Hands instantly pushed her back against the pillows as the owner reassured her that everything was okay, that she was safe and that no one was going to hurt her. After a few moments, she was relieved of the ventilation machine although it wasn't taken out of the room just then which led Jac to the conclusion that she might have to be subjected to it again.

Letting out a huge sigh and wincing as her side twinged and her chest stung slightly, Jac glanced round the room instantly recognising it as HDU on Darwin. Mo was standing at the end of the bed, jotting down her obs no doubt in her file. With a jolt Jac wondered if she'd read through all of her medical history. "Welcome back … you had us worried for a while Jac."

"Nice to know there is an 'us' who worries about me."

Mo rolled her eyes, "the whole hospital was worried Jac … we didn't know what had happened to you."

Jac closed her eyes and struggled with the words, "I take it you – erm … that you know – that … well, um … Chantelle and Malick are – he … he …"

"We know; Jonny and Hanssen found them – and Digby." Mo perched awkwardly on the end of the bed, "well Elliot has repaired the tear in your lung and fixed your ribs – you'd broken three and cracked a fourth. He mentioned something about having to do the same procedure on you a few years back."

"I crashed my bike – surprisingly Elliot was rather angry with me. He'd probably steal my keys if given half a chance." Jac told her, remembering how Elliot had kept stressing how 'flipping lucky' she'd been.

"Hanssen fixed your hand best he could and Elliot stitched that cut on your forehead …" Mo trailed off and Jac sensed that there was something more she wasn't telling her.

"What about the baby?" Jac asked softly, "Mo … is my … baby okay?"

Mo bit her lip for a moment before turning to face Jac, "We don't know Jac; we're waiting for someone from obs and gynie to come down and confirm it but … we think you will miscarry. I'm so sorry Jac," Mo watched her with obviously felt sympathy as Jac digested the news.

"You mean that I haven't yet? So I still could … I still could be pregnant? It still could happen?" Jac couldn't help the desperation in her voice.

"I don't know …"

"Where's Jonny?"

Mo shrugged, "Probably talking to his army mates or something." At Jac's frown Mo explained the best she could, "turns out our Jonny Mac was in the army before we met him – as a doctor – but something happened and they yanked him out and he retrained as a nurse." Sighing, Mo glanced out of the window, "that's why they're here y'know. Because Jonny didn't trust the police he called in a favour and got them to help out."

"Does he know?"

"Know what?"

"That I might … that I could – that I'll … um … lose the baby?" Jac asked softly, "because there's no way I can tell him."

"He knows Jac," Mo told her gently, "Hanssen and Elliot told him – he was waiting outside theatre for almost two hours for news … he really loves you Jac."

"I wish he'd say it Mo … I need to hear him say it," she expected to hear an alarm bell blear across the ward and demand Mo's attention but for once, Darwin seemed silent. "Where is everyone?"

"The police closed the hospital at about half four – all patients, the ITU ones aside, were transferred elsewhere and the staff all shut in the staff rooms. Holby hospital has only just reopened again; you are Darwin's only occupant right now so feel privileged … I'll go chase up obs and gynie for you – the sooner we know for sure the better I guess."

Jac closed her eyes and felt the bed lift as Mo got up, a second later the door opened and then swung shut as she left Jac alone. Less than a minute had passed before Jac let the tears fall thick and fast. She bit her lip to try and stop her sobs but there was little point because there were too many of them. The baby had kicked – had moved and captured her heart and gave her strength to fight on and now … now she might lose it. It wasn't fair! What had she done to deserve such a harsh and testing life? Why was she never allowed to have it easy or to have something go right? What had she done?

If Mo or Elliot or anyone on the ward heard her crying they didn't come to comfort her … perhaps they knew that their presence wouldn't be welcome. Maybe they knew that they were unable to help her in her grief and so chose to do nothing to attempt to help her through it. Eventually Jac's sobs ebbed away and her tears slowed as she cried herself back to sleep wondering if this person from obs and gynie would shatter her world more than it already was.


	14. Chapter 14

"I'd forgotten how much it hurt when you decked someone," Jonny muttered as Sacha wound the bandage round his bruised and bloodied knuckles.

"The pain is probably because you went outside and tried to floor the wall," he told the Scottish nurse. Jonny grunted but didn't reply although he winced as Sacha pulled the bandage tight before fastening it neatly. "Now then – tell me how the other guy looked."

"I broke his nose," Jonny shrugged. "He seemed to think Jac losing the baby was 'good' so I decked him one … well three …"

"And what will the major say when he sees the state he's in?"

"Davy and the lad's will say they found him that way … it's just his nose Sacha – if you're that bothered go and set it straight for him. I guarantee you'll end up here having _your_ hand fixed up," Jonny told him.

"Well try not to hit anyone 'till it's healed or you might actually break it," Sacha cautioned as Jonny got to his feet, inspecting his friend's handiwork. Sacha had literally just bandaged his knuckles so his wrist wasn't at all restricted by tight strips of serialized cloth. "Mo said that Jac was awake so you'd best get up there and make sure she'd okay."

Jonny nodded, "yeah … thanks."

"She loves you Jonny – you do know that don't you?" Jonny looked across at Jac's bestfriend but didn't speak; instead he pushed open the door and left the side room, dodging past the increasing number of new admissions onto AAU. Wondering if anyone had told Jac she was likely to lose the baby, Jonny took the lift – thankful it was empty – and sighed … at least she was alive.

Hanssen was waiting for him when he stepped out of the lift onto the familiar ward, "The army will be taking Marcus Terry in the next ten minutes or so – as soon as the truck arrives I believe. I thought I should let you know that the major is looking for you."

Jonny groaned as he walked down the corridor towards HDU with Hanssen in tow, "he probably wants to try and persuade me to go back out there."

"Will you?"

"No. I …" pushing open the door to the small room where Jac was seemingly asleep, Jonny sank into the chair beside the bed. "I went out there as a doctor and came back a soldier. I … I'm not that person anymore."

"Well I shall leave you to it …" Hanssen trailed off and backed out of the room leaving Jonny to sit at the bedside staring into space. After a few minutes Elliot bustled in to check the stats on the various machines and declared that it was safe to remove the ventilation machine out of the room because Jac was unlikely to need it again. He also told Jonny that Mr Thompson was on his way from St James' and that there had been no sign as yet of a miscarriage.

"But I'm no expert in this area so I can't really say if that's a good sign or not …"

"So all we can do is wait and see?" Jonny demanded, "sorry – I … it's not your fault."

"You have every right to be upset, just … try to stay positive for Jac."

"She knows?"

"Mo told her," Elliot teetered on the edge of saying more but evidently decided against it. He gave Jonny a small smile of encouragement as he left the room and shut the door. Jonny let out a sigh and glanced over at Jac in time to see her stir. Pulling his chair closer to the bed he took her uninjured hand in his, squeezing it slightly to reassure her that she wasn't alone.

"Jonny …"

"The one and only," he smiled, getting a roll of the eyes out of her. "You had me worried for a wee while there Jac."

"So Maureen said … apparently the entire hospital ground to a stop because everyone was so worried."

"Now I don't want to hear you say that no one cares about ya, okay?" Jonny told her sternly. He suspected that she agreed simply to pacify him but he didn't press her on the subject, "How you feeling?"

Jac closed her eyes and sighed, "Honestly? I don't know … I – I don't know if I should be happy I made it."

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"Because it feels wrong Jonny … why should I live and the others die? It's not – it isn't fair." There were tears in her eyes, and a look of confusion in her eyes as she struggled through her emotions in the aftermath of what she'd endured. All Jonny could do was sit there with his hand in hers as he tried to find an excuse _not_ to ask the question that somebody needed to ask her. "Mo said you were in the army?"

"Once upon a time," Jonny admitted as the door opened and then closed. Mo, Elliot, Hanssen and Davy had evidently just finished discussing something to do with Jac. "Jac … this is my old mate Davy Jordan … Davy this is Jac."

"Sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances," Davy said to Jac who didn't respond.

"Erm, yes well Jac …" Elliot cleared his throat uncomfortably and Jonny suddenly knew what they wanted to ask her.

"No – Elliot no … she's not ready."

"Not ready for what?" Jac demanded, looking from one set of eyes to another trying to decipher what it was they were hiding from her.

"Mr Thompson is about half an hour away," Elliot began ignoring Jonny's look. "So we'll know one way or another soon enough. Now, Jac … I know this may be hard for you but – um … well we need to know what happened exactly."

Jac looked down at her lap – avoiding their gaze. "You know what happened," she muttered softly.

"Surely this can wait?" Jonny asked, not wanting anyone to force Jac to relieve any aspect of her ordeal.

"We need to know if … um … if you were – er …" Elliot hesitated for a moment, "if you were on the receiving end of any unwanted attention … so to speak," he finished delicately. All eyes were on Jac who hadn't looked up.


	15. Chapter 15

Thing was, they wouldn't believe her when she said that nothing had happened – only because they'd already convinced themselves that the worse had happened … they were treading round her as if she was made of glass and so convinced that their questions would send her deep within her layers of protection. Finding a way to convince them all that she hadn't been … well, _taken advantage of_ … was going to be no small task. What made it harder was that it had almost happened … again. They would want her to report it and go to the police, and when she said no they would drag up the whole Alan Clooney thing again to try and make her 'see sense' and 'do the right thing' even though the right thing was just letting it go and running as fast as she could away from the whole ordeal.

"Nothing … nothing happened Elliot; it almost did but it didn't, okay?" the way that Elliot, Hanssen, Jonny, Mo and this Davy person all shared unconvinced looks irritated her. "I know you don't believe me but … he didn't – he didn't do _that_ to me. I would tell you if he did – you honestly think I'd be able to talk about it if he had?" Jac shook her head, "Jonny – he didn't okay? He didn't."

"But he tried to?"

Jac let her eyes drift shut, "he was gonna yeah – but only because I didn't tell him who you were. Anyway … his wife called so he went home, well I presume he tried to but found you lot had closed all the exits and trapped him here."

"You promise you'd tell me if he had?" Jonny asked her and she sighed heavily.

"Jonny, you'd know if he had okay? I … I wouldn't be sitting here chatting away about it all if he had." For a moment she thought he was going to ask why she was so certain of that fact – so certain that he'd _know_ if she had been … Jac didn't think she was up to explaining it all to him. Thankfully she seemed to have convinced them and so they all visibly relaxed – even Hanssen – as Elliot and Hanssen decided to inform her of what had happened in theatre despite Mo having already told her a short while ago.

Judging by the fading light through the window, it was late. Probably around ten o'clock at night or so; it seemed as if the day had dragged on for an age. The surgeon drifted back off into a doze and so missed the tail end of Hanssen's assement of her health, however the swede smiled tolerably and excused himself from the room swiftly followed by Elliot and Mo, who said that she'd come back when Thompson had arrived.

"You broke the bugger's nose, Mac."

"I seem to recall that outta the two of us, _I _was the one with the medical degree and you were the one who hadn't passed a single GCSE."

"Very funny Mac – look, the major is turning a blind eye … probably because he remembers you from the old days … but you're lucky that it was him on duty today." Jac heard the words but didn't really register what they meant – but she was content in listening to the sound of Jonny's voice. "Well it was great to see ya again Mac … even if it was because some nutter took your girl."

"Yeah … and thanks Davy – for your help."

"Hey, you helped me out loads when we was out there … it was the least I could do." Jac imagined the soldier getting to his feet and putting his beret on his head while Jonny scratched his neck. "I'd best get going or they'll make me walk. I'll get the invite through the post then, yeah?"

"What invite?"

"To ya wedding – don't tell me you aint gonna invite me!"

"No but … but – I ..."

"See ya round Mac," and then the door swung shut on him as Jonny stood there spluttering while Jac wondered what the hell they'd been talking about. Perhaps it was the morphine she was being given to numb the pain of her injuries that was making it difficult for her to comprehend much of what was going on around her – or maybe it was the fact that she was just so tired. Deciding that she didn't really need to know what Davy had meant, Jac let sleep take her.

Jonny was still spluttering when she was woken by Mo entering the room ten minutes later with Mr T in tow. Instantly the pair snapped into reality as they remembered why the gynaecologist had been summoned so urgently. Mr T nervously removed his jacket as he approached Jac's bedside, almost tripping over the bp monitor. "Okay … erm Mo has er – well she's told me what happened … are you – have you … um … have you felt any discomfort at all?"

Jac shook her head.

"Any bleeding that you know of?"

"I don't think so."

"Did you fall at all?"

Jonny took her hand in her own and she felt him squeeze it comfortingly. "Um … I – I guess."

Mr T scratched his head before glancing at her blood pressure and heart rate, "Okay … and what about your endometriosis? Have you been experiencing any symptoms at all?"

"What's that got to do with it?" at Jonny's look of 'just answer the question' she relented, "no not since you told me I was pregnant."

"Right … well so far it seems you haven't been experiencing any of the symptoms that usually come with a miscarriage – but that could just be the morphine masking any discomfort in your abdomen. I'm going to order a blood test, and if you can a urine one and see what they say … I can't promise that this is a good sign however – it may be that you'll have the miscarriage sometime later tonight or early tomorrow; it's too soon to tell."

Jac closed her eyes while Jonny asked if there was anything that could be done – _the kick … I felt the first kick earlier –_ Jac suddenly remembered with a jolt. But as Mr T said, there was no promise that it was good news.


	16. Chapter 16

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"What happened to you … before ...?" Jonny sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face; it was late – really late – and Jac needed to rest rather than sit up listening to his 'war stories'.

"There's not much to tell," he lied as he sank down at the end of her bed and gazed out of the window.

"Would you rather I sat here just waiting for the inevitable to happen?"

She meant the miscarriage … "No, I don't want that … okay then – you sure about this?" she nodded, never once taking her eyes off him and he shrugged, "I was … well I was eighteen when I joined up with me brother … I – erm … well I wanted to be a doctor and the only way I could pay for my tuition was to join the army … so I did." He'd half forgotten that Jac was there, he spoke to the wall lost in what had happened. "My brother – well he was younger see, about four minutes or so I think – and he wanted to do what I did only he wasn't quite clever enough to be a doctor so he settled on just being a foot soldier."

By the sound of the sirens, an ambulance had just pulled up – the first one since the reopening of Holby General. "I did my studies and all that – passed with honours or whatever. I did me junior rotations at one of them military hospitals on the border between Scotland and England and then when we was about twenty four or so we got called up to go and serve out in Afghan. My wee brother – Jacob … well there were a load of us sent out there and some of us weren't even fully qualified either; they sent out lads who weren't even shaving properly …"

Jonny shook his head and then took a deep breath; "I finished my rotations out there – in the makeshift tent hospitals … it's surprising how quickly you learn when you have to. Well we were there for about four years or so I guess; I got promoted to … um – well they made me a lieutenant and put me in charge of one of the relief parties, y'know when the lads call in for back up and medical aid; I had to go in and get the poor bastard out and fix him up best I could so that he'd survive the journey back to base."

It took him a moment to hear Jac's voice and to realise that she was still in the room with him, "you're parents must've been proud of you and what you were doing … puts what we do here to shame."

"Of Jacob yeah … of me; not really," Jonny sighed heavily, "I don't know why – I mean they never outright said anything but … I always got that impression from them. See he wasn't expected to live past three months and he did – s'pose you could say he was their miracle child."

"That's not fair," she whispered.

He let out a small laugh, "life aint fair, Jac … and there's not a lot we can do about it. Oh aye I got praise and they said that it were a comfort knowing I'd fix Jacob up right if he got hurt bad or something but … well he was their hero wasn't he? He was the one going out and doing all the actual fighting. Me; I guess in their eyes being a surgeon was a cop out – I was a coward."

"You're not a coward Jonny – you're anything _but _that, okay?" he turned to face her and smiled before asking how she was doing, "I'm being pumped full of morphine – I'm fine … you finish telling me what you got up to out there … how old were you at this point?"

Jonny scratched his head, "well I was twenty four or so when I went out there and things were running relatively smoothly 'till I was about twenty eight." He faltered slightly and it was only because he felt Jac take his hand in hers that he was able to recount what had happened seven years ago. "There was this place – this … base in a – a part of Afghan that you _really_ didn't wanna be posted to. 'Area X' … you didn't hear of blokes coming outta there alive very often – and if they did they were never quite the same again. We all knew it was basically suicide if you got sent there but we never let the majors know that's what we thought."

A bleeping interrupted them, but it was only one of the countless machines saying that one of Jac's transfusions had finished. "Jacob … he wasn't really cut out to be a soldier, not really – he was good at it, but only because he knew his chances of getting shot weren't that high. He was small see – and really scrawny too …" Jonny bit his lip and turned away from Jac to stare fixedly out of the dark window. "His number came up see; to go there and – and he was shit scared … I – I had t' look after him didn't I? I mean, he was me wee brother … so we traded places; I volunteered to go in exchange for him staying at base."

"They let you do that?"

"I think they were looking for some medic to go out there too – but couldn't spare any of us. Me volunteering … they weren't really allowed t' say no. It was all arranged and that; I set off with the rest of the buggers who'd been chosen to go – Davy was one of them – and Jacob stayed behind in the safety of the base." He was struggling now, to get the words out in some coherent form that didn't betray how hard he was finding this.

"Jonny?"

"We'd only been gone an hour," he whispered, "we could still see it in the distance behind us – see the deserts were so flat out there … I can still remember how the ground shook and echoed with the blast. We went back – of course we went back! But it was too late; no one survived … they'd fucking bombed the place hadn't they?"


	17. Chapter 17

It took a moment for what he'd said to sink in, despite Elliot telling her she wasn't to move she shifted round on the bed until she was sitting beside him and able to wrap an arm around him as he sat frozen with his gaze fixed upon something Jac couldn't see. After a second or two, he allowed himself to rest his head against her shoulder and cry. She'd never thought of Jonny crying before – never entertained the thought that he could because he didn't seem the type to … rather like herself in that respect.

"I erm …" he stat up and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand, sniffing. "They sent me home – well they sent the lot of us home for a wee while. Mum and Dad … they didn't blame me exactly but they weren't best pleased when I told them we'd switched places. I s'pose they thought I wanted in on the action and that I'd gotten bored of my 'doctoring' as they put it."

"It wasn't your fault Jonny – there was no way you could've known that was going to happen!"

"But it did happen, Jac! I let me brother die …!"

"Jonny – you were trying to protect him," Jac watched helplessly as he sprang to his feet and leant against the window frame.

"But it only got him killed didn't it?" he muttered darkly. "We had the funeral – all nice and proper; like a soldier should have … and then I went back out there."

"You went back?"

Jonny shrugged, "I had to … they put me in charge of what was left of us from the base and said that we had to go and fetch the wounded and bring them back to _that_ base. I still operated and stuff if I had to but not as much as before. Then we got told that someone was holding a load of civilians' hostage in the nearby village and that we had to go and sort it; they wanted the bugger alive for whatever reason so we had to convince him to give himself up. We got there and sealed off any exits and shit and then set to wait."

Jac wondered what it must've been like for him; he'd dealt with so much – the trauma of war, and on top of that, he'd lost his brother.

"I got bored waiting for him to do something … so I went in. Davy was yelling at me on the radio to get back into position and that he'd have to report me if I didn't. I ignored him and walked up the bloke, he had this family held up at gun point, and asked him why he was doing it … I dunno what I was thinking – I don't think I was … I thought he'd shoot me though. Maybe I wanted him to – but somehow I got him to give in." Jonny tapped his fingers on the glass and Jac wondered if he'd ever spoken about this before now.

"So today then; you knew exactly what you were doing the whole time?"

"Did you doubt me Jac?"

"Well … I did kinda worry that you were just making it all up as you went along."

"I'm a wee bit outta practise – once the majors heard what happened they commended me and basically gave that job to me. Pissed Davy off more than a wee bit I tells ya … but we came to an arrangement and became mates after a few near misses." Jac threw a glance at the clock and was startled to see it boarding on midnight. "I took too many risks though – and it got him worried 'bout me."

"Who was?"

"Davy – I … I kinda didn't give two fucks if I lived or died at that point … I mean; I wouldn't be missed if I did snuff it."

"Surely your parents –"

"Haven't spoken to me since Jacob's funeral … it's – it's like I don't exist to them now Jacob's not here." Jac wanted to go over to him – to hold him as she knew he would hold her – but she was attached to too many machines. "I've given up trying … but I did that for about two years or so … getting more and more risky and worrying Davy every time I went out of eyesight. I couldn't save everyone – but you learn that … being a doctor; you learn how … how not everyone will survive. I didn't notice – or didn't care – that I was … well not meself anymore. I think he'd had enough – or maybe the majors' acted without him but either way they sent me packing."

"He didn't want to see you killed Jonny," Jac told him, knowing that it was the truth, "I guess you became his little brother – you became the one who needed someone to watch your back." Jonny shrugged but didn't reply. For nearly fifteen minutes they remained silent; Jac watching the father of her unborn child – for how long it was there for – while he stood transfixed upon whatever it was he was looking at, be it the window or something else.

"I went out there a doctor … and I came back a soldier – I've probably killed more people than I've saved …"

"Jonny – you know that's not true; just think of how many people made it because you had the guts to actually fix them up on the battle field … and here – all those people who owe you because you've sorted out their transplants."

"Today," he turned and sank to the floor staring at the frame of the hospital bed, "I've never had t' deal with a situation where I would lose something if I screwed up – and … and I haven't really had anything to lose since I lost Jacob. Today … today – told me that I … that – that if I lost you then I, well … I really would have nothing left."


	18. Chapter 18

Abruptly, Elliot bustled in looking from Jonny sitting on the floor to Jac perched on the edge of her bed and frowned; _he_ seemed boarding on tears while _she_ seemed at a loss of what to do. After chiding her for moving and urging her back into bed, he checked the monitors and then hooked her up to yet another drip before telling her rather sternly that she ought to sleep. "You too Jonny – somehow I don't think the floor will provide you much comfort."

"Go to the on-call room," Jac urged him softly.

"What if you need me?" the meaning hung in the air between them.

"Then someone will fetch you … Jonny – I'll be fine, okay?"

Elliot helped Jonny to his feet, "she's safe now; go and rest … you're no use to anyone when you're about to keel over from lack of sleep." Jac watched as the professor steered the nurse out of the room and sent him in the direction of the on-call room, "try and get some sleep Jac, alright?" she nodded to him and he smiled gently before closing the door and heading off towards their shared office.

Thankful for the time alone, Jac lay back against the pillows and closed her eyes as she let out a huge sigh. After everything he'd dealt with … to be able to look at life the way Jonny did was a remarkable feat, and Jac couldn't help but wonder _how_ he did it. She wondered how he managed to put all of it behind him and act as if he was about to fall apart at any second … unless his cheery and jokey attitude was his way of dealing with it all. In a similar way to her being all uncaring and bitchy, Jonny was the way he was to throw people off the scent – to fool them into believing that there was nothing out of the ordinary about him. Well she could see through it now … just as he could see through her defences, Jac now knew how to see through his.

As she felt herself relax and her body prepare itself for rest, a stray thought wafted into her mind as if it was just passing the time – _if I lost you then I really would have nothing left, he said. He said he was scared of losing me _– but her mind was evidently too exhausted to delve into that line of thoughts and what it meant, despite the meaning being _very_ clear. However, her mind was clearly not too tired to remember … and remember not only the events of the past however-many-hours but events of years and years ago; events she did her best to deny ever happening to her and events she still didn't understand.

Trapped in a nightmare made solely of her past experiences, Jac tossed and turned in the questionable comfort of the hospital bed while out on the quite ward the likes of Mo and Elliot dozed unawares. The hardest part of it all was how real it seemed to her; it was as if she was actually enduring it all again for the first time, with the added knowledge – the added dread – of knowing what would come next. How was she to know it was just a dream when it felt _so real_? How could she seek a way out of her nightmare if she wasn't certain it was just that? Too many memories … too many experiences … she wanted to forget them all – to deny them all and say that they happened to someone else and not to her. But she couldn't … because it was the truth; the truth of what had happened to make her so afraid of letting people in.

The truth presented to her in the form of a nightmare from which there was no escape.

She felt someone shaking her, and anxious – scared even – she struggled to see who it was; struggled to see which figure from her mound of untouched memories had decided to haunt her now. "Jac … Jac?" her eyes flew open and she stared up into Jonny's eyes with confusion for several moments. "You – you were dreaming," he explained, "and it didn't look like a good dream so I woke you …" as this realisation dawned on her Jac felt the crashing wave of emotion hit her harder than ever before. "Hey … come here," Jonny took her into his arms and was holding onto her tightly – yet carefully because he didn't want to damage her any more than she'd already been hurt – for a second or two before Jac realised that, just as a child might, she was crying. "It was just a stupid dream … a wee dream," he consoled.

"It was no dream …" she whispered eventually, her head still buried in his chest and his arms still holding her together, "they were memories."

He didn't ask her what of, perhaps he knew she wasn't ready yet – that despite his sharing of secrets, Jac still wasn't able to share her own just yet – but that didn't stop him from understanding or from comforting her. "They always come back during the times you don't want them to, don't they?"

"And there's only so many times you can push them away," Jac added. "I thought you were asleep?"

He chuckled, "I could say the same to you … no, I – I couldn't sleep. Besides, Mo came to get me because you were … well _remembering_ stuff." He took a deep breath and reluctantly let her go, so that she could settle back against the pillows once again and try to sleep. "I think I'll stay this time, eh?" Jac smiled gently and she knew it was all he needed; a reply was nothing to a smile that _showed_ how grateful she was to have him there.

It wasn't until a clock chimed two in the morning somewhere; until after Elliot had woken Jonny by being clumsy and knocking over the bin when he did Jac's obs that she spoke to him in a voice filled with a silent fear. "I don't want to lose this baby Jonny."


	19. Chapter 19

"Tell me I won't … please – tell me everything is gonna be okay."

He joined her on the bed and pulled her into his arms, "You have no idea how much I wanna … how much I want to say that it'll all be fine."

Jac needed to sleep – her body was shattered and she was beyond mental exhaustion – but she couldn't. All she could do was sit and wait for the inevitable … scared and hoping for some scrap of light that would have Mr T return and say that, actually, everything was how it should be. Neither of them was holding their breath for that though; separately and together, they had accepted now that it was going to happen … all that was left was _when _it would happen.

"Will you stay? Afterwards – will you stay … with me?"

"I aint going nowhere Jac; okay?"

"Okay … good … thank you," she murmured before drifting off into a light doze with her head resting on his chest. How could he leave her? She'd crumble and fall apart the instant he did … and he'd last only moments longer without her.

"I think, Jac, that we're stuck with each other for good."

"Huh?" she replied sleepily, sounding almost childlike when she spoke causing him to smile and kiss her hair.

"I wouldn't last long without you," he told her truthfully, wondering how much was actually going into her in her sleep-deprived state, "and you'd last less without me."

"As much as I hate to admit it," she began, "I think you're right."

This was what he loved about her – _I that doubt anyone has ever told her they love her and truly meant it_ – the way she hid how she felt in her seemingly uncaring remarks. Jonny knew now that it was only out of fear her feelings would be rejected and laughed at. "Don't change Jac," he asked her suddenly, "don't ever feel you have to change for me … I love you the way you are; you wee moody cow." Whether she had heard him or not, Jonny didn't know because when he took a glance down at her it was to find her – at long last – fast asleep.

It wasn't until he heard someone calling his name that Jonny realised he too had fallen asleep; from the light shining through the window he made an educated guess at it being morning. "Sorry to disturb you but …"

"You need to check on Jac – again – and I probably need a shower?"

Sacha grinned as Elliot smiled, "got it in one … how's your hand by the way?"

Jonny's gaze flickered down to it and he shrugged, "I haven't hit anyone else if that's what you're asking."

"Go on and shower you!" Mo joked, "Before Jac wakes and you decided you don't want to leave her side for the next twelve hours."

"I'm going," Jonny told them, holding his hands up in mock surrender as he slid off the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Jac Naylor. He made his way towards the locker room where he grabbed his towel and fresh clothes from his locker before heading to the showers for a much needed wash and shave.

Judging by the fact that the room seemed to have been turned into a sauna, and that the only person inside was Harry; Jonny figured that the young doctor had decided to take advantage of the endless supply of hot water. "What's the latest?" he asked as Jonny dumped his stuff on a bench and searched for a relatively clean shower cubical.

"Why do you wanna know?" Jonny asked, "So you can go and gossip with the likes of Mary-Claire and Edward? They want more shit to stir do they?"

"Hey," the junior held up his hands, "I was just asking – we all know what happened and we just wanna know she's okay; besides neither of them were working yesterday and they're not in today either."

"Sorry … no she's …" he sighed before forcing the words out, "we're gonna lose the baby." Before Harry could offer some form of sympathetic comment, Jonny grabbed his shower gel and disappeared into a cubical, nearly pulling the curtain off the rail as he yanked it in place. Thankfully there was no one around when he emerged and so Jonny was able to get dressed and shave in peace and silence as he mulled over everything in his mind.

Checking his watch, he noted that he'd been gone a good hour or so and figured that he ought to get back to Jac before she needed him. Darwin was hushed when he sauntered back onto the ward – as if someone important had suddenly died or something. Not at all liking the atmosphere he hurried towards HDU only to have Hanssen and Sacha block his path. "No – Jonny … she doesn't want you in there."

"But –" he frowned, confused and trying to see past Elliot who was blocking the doors. "I don't …"

"Why don't we go to the staff room?" Hanssen suggested, "Mr Levy will you –?"

"Yep … c'mon Jonny," together they dragged him down the corridor and into the staffroom away from Jac in HDU. Why didn't she want him in there? She needed him – what had changed between her falling asleep against him and him coming back from the shower? What had he done to suddenly have Jac want him stopped from seeing her?

It was a moment before he realised that Mr T had joined them, that Hanssen was stood uncomfortably by the window and that Sacha had a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that – I think she just didn't want you to see her going through it."

"Through what?" he asked despite the dawning comprehension growing.

"The – the … miscarriage," he watched Jonny who was sitting there numb before glancing at Hanssen and Sacha for their approval before exiting the room. It was a good thing Marcus Terry was well and truly out of the building or Jonny might've done something incredibly reckless just then.


	20. Chapter 20

Jonny wasn't there when she opened her eyes, panicking. Where was he? Part of her was glad he wasn't here to witness this, but part of her needed him to reassure her that it was okay. Her mind battled with the desire to find him and the wish to stay put and let it happen with no one the wiser but her.

"Jac?" Mo asked softly from the door. Evidently the registrar had seen her sit poised to get up on the edge of her bed and had come to investigate, "you okay?" The 'yes' formed on her lips but for some reason she shook her head instead. "What's up?" Jac bit her lip and closed her eyes in defeat before meeting Mo's concerned gaze with tears falling unnoticed from her eyes. She blinked. "Okay, okay Jac – Jac, okay … it's going to be okay …"

She watched as Mo calmly joined her on the bed and placed an arm round her shoulders before she doubled over in pain. "Mo, can I get you to look at – oh."

"Elliot – couldn't go get Mr T for us could you? Jac, you need to sit down –" luckily Mo caught her as she slipped; the three of them glanced at the floor and stood staring for a second or two. "Yeah tell him its 'code red' while you're at it – might make him hurry up."

"Of course – Mo … I'd take her off the drips for now – they won't be doing anything." Elliot hesitated and then let the door swing shut as he issued orders around the half-filled ward and grabbed a phone.

"It hurts," Jac gasped as Mo detached her from the infusions and closed the blinds so that people walking past couldn't see into the room. If Mo was talking to her Jac had no idea what it was she was saying; nothing much registered other than the fact that it was happening – she was losing her baby. "But … yesterday," she whispered at one point, "yesterday there – there was a kick!"

If people heard her and responded she didn't know or remember. It was odd really; her mind seemed to have gone blank and refused to register – to record – what was happening. Maybe to spare her having to relive it at some later date … she was told later by Mo that Jonny was on his way, "No – please I don't want him here … no!" However they took her literally and saw to it not realising that she didn't mean it, that she was only saying it out of habit. Always before she'd needed to cope alone and so she had automatically told them she didn't want Jonny when in actual fact she needed him.

A fog clouded her memory of what happened and shrouded it in mist until she gave up trying to remember it … she knew she didn't want to. Her chronology of events ended with Mo entering the room and began again with Mo entering it again. In all honesty, she could – if she wanted to, or needed to – pretend like that hour had never happened.

"What … no – don't … I don't want to know."

"But Jac, you –"

"I know I had the – that I … I know it's gone. The baby – mine and Jonny's … I just," Jac closed her eyes, "I can't remember what happened and I don't think I want to, okay?"

"Okay … well we _did_ have to take you back into theatre because –"

"I said I didn't want to know."

"Jonny's in the staff room – Hanssen and Sacha took him there when you said you didn't want him in here. Mr T told him what happened so you don't have to do that bit."

"I said that?"

Mo nodded, "do you want me to get him for you?" when Jac nodded the surgeon sighed. "Okay – but can you tell me if you're in any pain at all – any discomfort and I'll up your morphine … and then apparently you need new endometriosis meds too."

Closing her eyes Jac lay back and did her best to prepare herself for seeing Jonny. He had promised that he'd stay, but there was still that slither of doubt that told her she wasn't good enough – that she wasn't what he wanted because she couldn't give him the family he'd always wanted. Someone took her hand in theirs as they sat down on the edge of the bed; Jac didn't need him to speak or to open her eyes to know that it was Jonny. For a long time neither spoke nor moved nor looked at each other; it wasn't needed just then.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jac turned onto her side and looked at him unsure what she'd find staring back at her. "It's okay," he murmured – anything louder than that seemed wrong – "I aint going nowhere but here." Just those few whispered words of reassurance were enough to break her out into quiet sobs of despair. As he had done during the night, Jonny settled down beside her so she could sob into his chest with him holding onto her without any intention of ever letting her go. She didn't know – and he didn't tell her for a long time – that he was crying too.

News travels fast round a hospital. Especially bad news involving members of the actual staff; at the nurses' station on Darwin a watch had been set up to send anyone away – remove them by force if need be – from HDU. Mo, Sacha, Elliot and Sharon took it in turns to let the couple have their time to mourn the loss of something that would now never be. "She doesn't wanna know – what happened … apparently she doesn't remember." Mo was saying to Sharon as Sacha and Elliot joined them.

"She doesn't really need to know, does she? I mean she lost the baby and that's all that really matters, isn't it?"

"Will they be okay d'you think?" Elliot asked as he glanced at the closed blinds of HDU.

Sharon paused for a moment to consider her answer carefully, "with the right support, I believe they will be."


End file.
